just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
