When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
