Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
