does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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