Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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