SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize