I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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