Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
