Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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