I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
