thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
