He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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