TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
