no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
