I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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