By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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