he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize