At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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