when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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