Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize