i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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