Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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