is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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