we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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