whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
