Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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