i just wanna soil my oats bro
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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