i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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