I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
