i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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