dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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