Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize