You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
