Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
