I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
