He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
