we're chasing vodka with high fives
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
