I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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