I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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