PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
barbara walters just said penis...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
