omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
