So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
