I think I am morally bankrupt
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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