K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
