She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
