Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there's paper in my vomit.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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