I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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