She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
