ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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