Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
