just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
