i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
