is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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