just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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