It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
