Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
