i would punch a child for taco bell
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
