yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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