How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
