I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize