Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
why is half of my head shaved?
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