Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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