i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
