whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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