Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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