I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
