so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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