I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
