How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
