Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Farmville is her only friend.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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